Not the growing

Last evening the pastor said one of his concerns in his life is battling the need to see growth, the fear of never seeing souls saved, of growing in numbers. And I sat there and thought, well, he certainly needs to take a look at me. Four years plus of blogging and the followers are up to a dozen. Not about the growing, but the growing.
The men in attendance said, in so many other ways, there has been growth. And it isn't in just numbers. But yet, we look to the outward. To see tangible results. I have long since given up in making something grow of my own accord. If the Lord so wills, He will allow it. It is for me, a growth. In the journey.
The writing, the poetry, the photography, is a growth in grace process out loud if you will. I am laying much of it out there for all to see, if they just so happen to like it or just so feel compelled to comment upon it, fine.
But for the greater part, they will not. It is not their journey. They are more interested in their own journey.
I thought today while riding the bike. Wouldn't like on Facebook, it be nice if God would 'Tag us' when He had something to say to us? Instead of us going to scripture, searching, trying to discern, if on our app we would get that little notice, and we would know.
Today at the nursing home visiting Harold, he had his facebook page up. I noticed he had nearly ninety notices where people had commented or liked something he had posted. He had never acknowledged them. He did not know what the little numbers meant. I told him he had two people wanting to message him, and nine wanting to friend him. And he lays all alone at the rehab with no one visiting him but immediate family.
We are just as Harold is on Facebook toward God. In reality, He is continually messaging us, wanting to friend us, sending comments and likes, but we are ignoring them, or just are not discerning, not aware.
So all this blogging, all this poetry, all this writing, all this photography I trust is leading me to discern, to learn to listen, to communicate with the one who matters most.