To your death we will part

We spotted three large alligators on the upper Suwannee today. These two were above Bell Springs. A bit further up just below Big Shoals another basked upon the late afternoon Hamilton County bank.

Ascension of the dogwood petals

After returning from Big Shoals with Jordon, I made the evening walk to the end of Tevis for another attempt at the Dogwoods. I have the most difficult time focusing the Canon S100, wishing it had the control that a SLR does in focus. Returning, I spoke with my neighbor, offering a play tool set to Nathaniel. I explained they had left for eight months. I said, if you can find another who would get use from it, that would be better. Beside, I would be sad seeing it.
Nathaniel and I would make this walk or ride in the wagon up to these dogwood trees. He liked to run under the pines and gather up the cones. I am not dealing too well with this silent separation.
Pray for me.

Farewell Nathaniel

The last photograph of Nathaniel. I went over to Julia's on Sunday to confront Amber about her long silence. After finally getting in, I learned that Nathaniel had been at her mother's all along since last week, that Amber never returned from Texas, but following Landon to Biloxi. I was beside myself, but composed. I spent several hours with Nathaniel at Julia's, as Amber had left strict instructions not to let him out of her sight, like we would be of harm to him!
I was able to hold him and he fell asleep in my arms. I gently laid him down and left. I tried on Monday to plead with Julia that Mamma, Melanie and Jordon needed to see him. She was too afraid of Amber. She never called me back. She too has been brainwashed by Amber, as has Landon our son.
Amber has managed to take from Landon everyone in his family, his friends, leaving only her and Nathaniel in this fatal like attraction she has for him.
She most of all needs prayer. Landon needs prayer that he will see the importance of family and overcome her attempts to ruin his family life.

Under Grace

Went by old Westside Baptist today to read the meter. Walked up under the porch to view the nice concrete etching work that was done several years ago. It was voted to sell this church on US90 and build a new church on property west on Turner Road down from Harvey's.
Tom Bart and I were the only two men present who voted against the move. And as it turned out, it would have been best had the other men followed our leading. For what was once a unified group at Westside, is now a split group, Christ's Fellowship and Grace Life Church.
Most unfortunate.

Thomas Tobacco Barn

How did I derive at this? First in Picassa(poor mans free photoshop), I took the color photograph taken today and enhanced the color in saturation. Second, I turned it into infrared and slide the focus to the right to bring some color back, just a touch. I then chose the HDR button, again sliding the amount back to the right to decrease the affect. I then ligthened the overall scene in Highlight. It gave it more of a graphic affect, less a photograph.

March

by john clare
I do not like this third month
that comes with such stern
command to March!
March whether you are
ready or not
March to Orange Hill
March to Biloxi
March right out of our lives
And who dares disobey
The strongman's command?
And so we March
In rank and file
abreast around the
parade ground
Until late into the night
when all have gone
and all is silent
And we ease up for but
a rest
Only to hear from the
darkness
the strongman command
March!
March!
MARCH!

O Heli

It is not known if Jacob(Matt 1:15) or Heli(Luke 3:23) was the grandfather of Jesus, as both are listed in his family tree. Could be that both were, one on Mary's side, the other, Joseph's side. Either way, one was. I chose Heli.
Today I all but gave up on trying again to see Nathaniel before Amber and her mom move out to Biloxi this week in the rented U-haul. Repeated texts and phone calls to Amber and Landon have gone ignored. Amber left strict instruction with her mother while she stayed out in  Biloxi these past two weeks not to let Nathaniel out of her sight.
I called her yesterday in hopes of taking Mamma and Melanie over to see Nathaniel, pleading that Mamma will not always be with us. She could not let her fear of Amber overcome her. She never called back. I called her today and left a message, apologizing for making her uncomfortable.
This is beyond my comprehension, that a son and a daughter-in-law can be so callous. So what if they feel they were in some way wronged. Get over it. We all slip up in family and do things that we regret. But we do not, at least up until now, cut off all lines of communication.

Little Nathaniel

My heart is so sad tonight for my little grandson. I so miss that joyful laughter he displayed when my son Jordon was tickling him, I miss that little hop and skip happy walk with the arms behind his back, I miss his little blue Kentucky shirt, matching the bright blue eyes.
There is so much as grandparents we did. He loved to have us read to him and loved to point out the characters in the Disney dictionary book. Loved to gather the chicken eggs. Loved to play in the sand pile. Melanie loved to buy him clothes and dress him up.
All this is fast becoming but a memory as this week he moves with Landon and Amber to Biloxi and then on to who knows where, out of our lives.
To see him today broke my heart. That laughter and joy upon his face was missing. Shoeless with ant bites between toes. Old worn out tee and homemade hand me down pants. A large scab above the ankle. Hair straggly in need of a trim. Seemingly something hurting in his mouth. Fingernails I would cut growing long. I could go on.
I am praying diligently that this week some reconciliation is made with us and Amber, and then Landon. The two, in their strong infatuation with one another, have pushed everyone out of their lives.
While the only crime Melanie committed was going to Landon's Air Force graduation against Amber and Landon's wishes, it is not a crime deserving of the death sentence.
I am so weary of Christians, especially my own son and daughter, who claim a walk with Christ, walking so far from the truth, yet expecting everyone else to toe the line.
Father, bring us all to a family again.

Near to Pappa

this poem is adapted from the hymn, Near to the heart of God.

There is a place of quiet rest
Near to the heart of Pappa
A place where love is best
Near to the heart of Pappa.

There is a place of comfort sweet
Near to the heart of Pappa
Hold me, who loves so greatly
Near to the heart of Pappa.

There is no place he'd rather be
Near to the heart of Pappa
A place of love and full safety
Near to the heart of Pappa.

O Saviour, blest protector,
Sent from the heart of God
Hold him who sleeps so quietly
Near to your heart, O God.

Today was a lead up to several weeks of much, much sadness. Today I finally was able to visit my little grandson, Nathaniel Manoa at his grandmother Julie's house. With Amber his mother in Biloxi with my son Landon, for the past many weeks, all lines of communication has been cut off to Melanie, Jordon and I. It is too long a story, but suffice to say, it has been quiet unsettling and dispiriting to us.
Now I learn today that Amber never came back from Landon's Air Force graduation in Texas, but went to Biloxi where they are to live.
Amber is returning this week early, taking a U haul back with most of the furniture we gave them, plus the Pathfinder we gave them to live for the next six or more months while Landon is in tech school. While I am grateful they are securing a home, it greatly distresses me that they are leaving and at this time, have no interest in keeping the lines of communication open with us.
I cannot fathom going months without knowing about them, especially Nathaniel.
If anyone reads this blog that is a praying person, please pray that the Holy Spirit will soften and convict their hearts and they will repent of this estrangement.

oak of lona

this is oak of lona before the transformation into monochrome.

Oak of Lona

playing around in Picassa. First made the color image infared. then I darkened over-all scene slightly. then i used the cross process to add a touch of color, to make it look hand-tinted. then i put on the border and the signature. voila.
the color image was good too. i just like the black and white for landscape as well.

Stormy day

The day was grey and in the afternoon strong winds with intense rain and lightening made its way across Lake City. This SUV was not one of the fortunate ones. About an hour earlier, Melanie and I were returning from my sisters house in town in the driving rain. It had to be moments after we passed that a large oak fell on this car, crushing the roof. We do not know if anyone was hurt, but it sure looks like they were.
Jordon and I rode back through town to observe the damage, which was widespread. Those photographs are on my Facebook page.

Oak leaf prayer

Tomorrow I am going to attempt and make a face to face meeting with one who has cut off all line of communication to Melanie and I. It is a most unfortunate situation when family cannot forgive and accept family as marred, un-perfect and prone to failure and words of hurt, yet still, embrace and pray and keep open the family tie.
We have never faced such a snub and for the long-term health our our souls, it must be resolved and prayerfully, come to healing.

With Reverence

Let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and Godly fear.
Hebrews xii.28.
The most gracious characters are the most remote from vainglory; and are always more affected with their imperfections than their excellencies.
William Jay
1769-1853
Author of Morning Exercises for the Closet

Jay went on to say, A little learning puffeth up; but modesty and diffidence attend profound science.
Jay was speaking of Job in this devotion, how through trials, he never boasted or cursed God.
In my own life of looking down at the handwriting in the sand, I am constantly reminded of my own imperfections. I only pray that those in my life that hold Melanie and I to an impossible standard, that they too will glance toward the sand, that perhaps, they too shall find a message for them.

Robinson Branch Falls

This afternoon, Friday, in order to attempt and soothe my disheartened state over Nathaniel being withheld from us, I went for a hike along the Suwannee River at Bell Springs, Northward up to Robinson Branch Falls. The water levels are still up in the creek that flows into the Suwannee.
This was approximately a four second exposure with two Neutral Density filters on a small tripod.I made this exposure black and white due to the long exposure on the original washed out.
Again, like at Itchetucknee, I left, or it dropped out, the filter pack. I had to walk back about a mile from the car, and there it was on the trail.

Southern Exposure

 

Southern Exposure Salon
Friday while waiting for my mother to finish getting her weekly ritual hair-style, telling the stylist everything she knows about us, I was patiently waiting for the sun to shine in brilliance on the Easter display in front of the salon. Soon as I would ready the camera, the sun would go behind the fast moving clouds.
It finally came out long enough, and the blue shone through the used furniture store across the street, to allow this shot. I really liked the color scheme of the brilliant yellows.
Make photography you are at.

Way Down

Way down
by john clare

When spirit drowns
Below water level
There is found
Way down
A way back up

Ring Girl

by john clare

She took four strands of old ski rope
Stretched it taunt in a square of canvas
twenty-four feet square
in the front yard
Two feet upon concrete blocks above the
Bahia grass
Padded the turnbuckles from boat cushions
and set a sawed off  kitchen stool
in the opponents corner
took the sewing machine and made
her a silken sequined gown
with matching Everlast trunks
and on the fifth Saturday of the Month
Entered her ring
Declaring any Palooka who can go the distance with me
can have me.
In the lady-made ring stooped
the Sugar Rays
Led by glass jawed lust
for an easy lay upon canvas
The right-handed orthodox
came with dream of
being the one to have her
as one by one
her haymaker met shattered
cheeks kissing canvas.
Eventually the punch drunk
stopped coming as word of
the Ring Girl spread.
No one for her to bolo punch.
No one to hit below the belt,
 throw body punches.
No combinations.
No tomato men to defeat.
Upon the day she decided
to step from the ring
to hang the gloves
undefeated
As she floated like a butterfly
from the ring
The lower ski rope caught
her and stung like a bee
as she fell solidly to the
Bahia grass below
Hayseed settling upon
that ruby gown.
The Palooka's from far
and wide gathered
glass jaws taut
as the
Memorial ring count
sounded.

Itchetucknee Theology

To be the first to heed that call
Come!
Drift upon the sweet water
to go where the
Manatee knows
to the flow unending
strong and clear
Leap!
to the heaven leap
 tell those who dwell
above
the sweet flow is below
deep beneath that
shaky boat
Come!
Hear the heron cry
to the passers by
Know!
Know you have
Come
to the source of sweet flow
take the hand that
created wonderfully
and simply
Know.

Intaglio Etchings

This is taken from Kentucky with an image of my father and Ed Brown taking goods from the spring house.
This event never occurred, I made it up in this etching. Etching is an old art form where you coat a copper or zinc plate with resin then draw in the resin. You then place the plate with the exposed lines in an acid bath, that eats into the lines. Depending how long you leave the plate in the acid bath determines the depth and shade of the line. You can etch multiple times, covering lines with the rosin and thus control the scene. You then roll ink into the lines on the plate and rub the remaining ink on the surface off. You place the plate on a press and place your special wet printing paper on the plate and make your print. Rembrandt was a master at the etching process. His mastery of the medium has no equal.

This is my father with his uncle Barnes on his farm in Homewood, Mississippi where my father grew up.  Can you find our dog Goliath?

This is an etching of the old barn and springhouse.

This was my father bidding Uncle Barnes good-bye in 1976.

this is an etching with aquatint of my father on his place in Crawfordville, Florida by the pond, looking for squirrels in the old oak. The old home place in Crawfordville is gone, as my father, who passed away on March 12th 2011

The Lovely Shop Fire

This was my last assigment for the Lake City Reporter in July of 1981. It was a great job being the Reporter's Photographer. Sadly, Harvey Campbell and I differed with Publisher Don Caldwell and the editorial staff over placing bylines on each photograph in the special edition and it cost me my job.The vote was taken late in the evening, not to put bylines under each photograph. Harvey went into the composing room after all had left and typed bylines under each photo. Though I was not involved, I took the fall.