I wrote the following:
The struggle always ensues in the attempt to compose a selfie as shadow always competes with image. Shadow with latent shyness draws from the light, image gravitates toward the light. I engage the services of compliant hand to pull shadow kicking into the light.
BA Art Florida Southern
I reside in Lake City as a photographer.
This quiet Monday Melanie works away, possibly her last week, probably since her company she works for has lost 90% of a contract. She has filled out some applications, one 24 pages long! I have been outside all afternoon raking the leaves in the backyard and piling them against Paul's side. The two Rhode Island Red Hens follow me about scratching for insects.
I am in a continual state of heaviness over Nathaniel and the one year since seeing him coming up. My anger toward Landon and Amber has remained as strong, not easing, if anything, growing with time.
I see them over there in ignorant bliss with one another, no telling what poor Nathaniel is having to cope with.
We cannot be there for him. Is greatly saddens me. He got such nurturing from us. Even Jordon commented how Landon just wasn't engaged as a father, if anything, treating Nathaniel as a rival, bullying him at times, making him cry by aggravating him. No grandpa to rescue him. I trust Landon in all this father time he has created is putting it to good use, and not just being absorbed in himself and Amber, as they were while here.
Harsh. But true. Anger tempers and bitters the words.
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