trying really hard to go into another light and try to understand their darkness. why a life is continually in the dark and unhappy. why they cannot resolve issues that should long since been resolved. issues of the tongue, issues of selfishness, issues of maturity, lessons never learned while young and impressionable. a mother who allowed the issues to fester on without facing them, feeling sorrow for the child and fear at the same time of confrontation. and so the seed of the weed has spread to the daughter and what was something that needed killing long ago has taken root deep and the tentacles have spread to cut off all light from above.
it will take more than man's axe or saw now to break the strong fibers that entangle.
i feel real remorse for such souls, trying to place myself into their lives, to try and understand being them, of what life is like through another frame, another view. and my heart is burdened. and i want to heal. but i cannot. for i have issues just as entangled. issues that i should have resolved long ago. issues that fester on today in me. redemption is an ongoing thing. it comes not easily as it did Paul. trickles of light from above. mercy drops falling. no perfection upon this earth, sorry John Wesley. no overcoming here, sorry, Martin Luther.
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