O Heli

It is not known if Jacob(Matt 1:15) or Heli(Luke 3:23) was the grandfather of Jesus, as both are listed in his family tree. Could be that both were, one on Mary's side, the other, Joseph's side. Either way, one was. I chose Heli.
Today I all but gave up on trying again to see Nathaniel before Amber and her mom move out to Biloxi this week in the rented U-haul. Repeated texts and phone calls to Amber and Landon have gone ignored. Amber left strict instruction with her mother while she stayed out in  Biloxi these past two weeks not to let Nathaniel out of her sight.
I called her yesterday in hopes of taking Mamma and Melanie over to see Nathaniel, pleading that Mamma will not always be with us. She could not let her fear of Amber overcome her. She never called back. I called her today and left a message, apologizing for making her uncomfortable.
This is beyond my comprehension, that a son and a daughter-in-law can be so callous. So what if they feel they were in some way wronged. Get over it. We all slip up in family and do things that we regret. But we do not, at least up until now, cut off all lines of communication.

Little Nathaniel

My heart is so sad tonight for my little grandson. I so miss that joyful laughter he displayed when my son Jordon was tickling him, I miss that little hop and skip happy walk with the arms behind his back, I miss his little blue Kentucky shirt, matching the bright blue eyes.
There is so much as grandparents we did. He loved to have us read to him and loved to point out the characters in the Disney dictionary book. Loved to gather the chicken eggs. Loved to play in the sand pile. Melanie loved to buy him clothes and dress him up.
All this is fast becoming but a memory as this week he moves with Landon and Amber to Biloxi and then on to who knows where, out of our lives.
To see him today broke my heart. That laughter and joy upon his face was missing. Shoeless with ant bites between toes. Old worn out tee and homemade hand me down pants. A large scab above the ankle. Hair straggly in need of a trim. Seemingly something hurting in his mouth. Fingernails I would cut growing long. I could go on.
I am praying diligently that this week some reconciliation is made with us and Amber, and then Landon. The two, in their strong infatuation with one another, have pushed everyone out of their lives.
While the only crime Melanie committed was going to Landon's Air Force graduation against Amber and Landon's wishes, it is not a crime deserving of the death sentence.
I am so weary of Christians, especially my own son and daughter, who claim a walk with Christ, walking so far from the truth, yet expecting everyone else to toe the line.
Father, bring us all to a family again.

Near to Pappa

this poem is adapted from the hymn, Near to the heart of God.

There is a place of quiet rest
Near to the heart of Pappa
A place where love is best
Near to the heart of Pappa.

There is a place of comfort sweet
Near to the heart of Pappa
Hold me, who loves so greatly
Near to the heart of Pappa.

There is no place he'd rather be
Near to the heart of Pappa
A place of love and full safety
Near to the heart of Pappa.

O Saviour, blest protector,
Sent from the heart of God
Hold him who sleeps so quietly
Near to your heart, O God.

Today was a lead up to several weeks of much, much sadness. Today I finally was able to visit my little grandson, Nathaniel Manoa at his grandmother Julie's house. With Amber his mother in Biloxi with my son Landon, for the past many weeks, all lines of communication has been cut off to Melanie, Jordon and I. It is too long a story, but suffice to say, it has been quiet unsettling and dispiriting to us.
Now I learn today that Amber never came back from Landon's Air Force graduation in Texas, but went to Biloxi where they are to live.
Amber is returning this week early, taking a U haul back with most of the furniture we gave them, plus the Pathfinder we gave them to live for the next six or more months while Landon is in tech school. While I am grateful they are securing a home, it greatly distresses me that they are leaving and at this time, have no interest in keeping the lines of communication open with us.
I cannot fathom going months without knowing about them, especially Nathaniel.
If anyone reads this blog that is a praying person, please pray that the Holy Spirit will soften and convict their hearts and they will repent of this estrangement.

oak of lona

this is oak of lona before the transformation into monochrome.

Oak of Lona

playing around in Picassa. First made the color image infared. then I darkened over-all scene slightly. then i used the cross process to add a touch of color, to make it look hand-tinted. then i put on the border and the signature. voila.
the color image was good too. i just like the black and white for landscape as well.

Stormy day

The day was grey and in the afternoon strong winds with intense rain and lightening made its way across Lake City. This SUV was not one of the fortunate ones. About an hour earlier, Melanie and I were returning from my sisters house in town in the driving rain. It had to be moments after we passed that a large oak fell on this car, crushing the roof. We do not know if anyone was hurt, but it sure looks like they were.
Jordon and I rode back through town to observe the damage, which was widespread. Those photographs are on my Facebook page.

Oak leaf prayer

Tomorrow I am going to attempt and make a face to face meeting with one who has cut off all line of communication to Melanie and I. It is a most unfortunate situation when family cannot forgive and accept family as marred, un-perfect and prone to failure and words of hurt, yet still, embrace and pray and keep open the family tie.
We have never faced such a snub and for the long-term health our our souls, it must be resolved and prayerfully, come to healing.

With Reverence

Let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and Godly fear.
Hebrews xii.28.
The most gracious characters are the most remote from vainglory; and are always more affected with their imperfections than their excellencies.
William Jay
1769-1853
Author of Morning Exercises for the Closet

Jay went on to say, A little learning puffeth up; but modesty and diffidence attend profound science.
Jay was speaking of Job in this devotion, how through trials, he never boasted or cursed God.
In my own life of looking down at the handwriting in the sand, I am constantly reminded of my own imperfections. I only pray that those in my life that hold Melanie and I to an impossible standard, that they too will glance toward the sand, that perhaps, they too shall find a message for them.

Robinson Branch Falls

This afternoon, Friday, in order to attempt and soothe my disheartened state over Nathaniel being withheld from us, I went for a hike along the Suwannee River at Bell Springs, Northward up to Robinson Branch Falls. The water levels are still up in the creek that flows into the Suwannee.
This was approximately a four second exposure with two Neutral Density filters on a small tripod.I made this exposure black and white due to the long exposure on the original washed out.
Again, like at Itchetucknee, I left, or it dropped out, the filter pack. I had to walk back about a mile from the car, and there it was on the trail.

Southern Exposure

 

Southern Exposure Salon
Friday while waiting for my mother to finish getting her weekly ritual hair-style, telling the stylist everything she knows about us, I was patiently waiting for the sun to shine in brilliance on the Easter display in front of the salon. Soon as I would ready the camera, the sun would go behind the fast moving clouds.
It finally came out long enough, and the blue shone through the used furniture store across the street, to allow this shot. I really liked the color scheme of the brilliant yellows.
Make photography you are at.

Way Down

Way down
by john clare

When spirit drowns
Below water level
There is found
Way down
A way back up

Ring Girl

by john clare

She took four strands of old ski rope
Stretched it taunt in a square of canvas
twenty-four feet square
in the front yard
Two feet upon concrete blocks above the
Bahia grass
Padded the turnbuckles from boat cushions
and set a sawed off  kitchen stool
in the opponents corner
took the sewing machine and made
her a silken sequined gown
with matching Everlast trunks
and on the fifth Saturday of the Month
Entered her ring
Declaring any Palooka who can go the distance with me
can have me.
In the lady-made ring stooped
the Sugar Rays
Led by glass jawed lust
for an easy lay upon canvas
The right-handed orthodox
came with dream of
being the one to have her
as one by one
her haymaker met shattered
cheeks kissing canvas.
Eventually the punch drunk
stopped coming as word of
the Ring Girl spread.
No one for her to bolo punch.
No one to hit below the belt,
 throw body punches.
No combinations.
No tomato men to defeat.
Upon the day she decided
to step from the ring
to hang the gloves
undefeated
As she floated like a butterfly
from the ring
The lower ski rope caught
her and stung like a bee
as she fell solidly to the
Bahia grass below
Hayseed settling upon
that ruby gown.
The Palooka's from far
and wide gathered
glass jaws taut
as the
Memorial ring count
sounded.